Batman Eternal by Snyder and Tynion issue #29

I want to care enough about Batman Eternal's Arkham story arc that I'd still be capable of becoming disappointed by it. The relief comes from the fact that I simply DON'T which then allowed me to read this issue and just chuckle at the silliness of the entire thing as oppose to nerdraging pathetically over things that are beyond my control, let alone comprehension. I can't even fake investment or excitement on this one even though I really like Batwing, though I honestly much prefer him bantering with Corrigan who is currently unconscious here, by the way. I think the reason why the Arkham arc is bugging me is because Blackfyre was not at all a compelling villain and his plans are nonsensical to the point where I think I've forgotten about them at this point. Also, the Joker's Daughter is a toxic pollution that has no credible usefulness to serve in ANYTHING about comic books in general, so I don't understand why I still have to read about her.

This issue featured some action sequences that were gorgeously crafted enough by artist Simon Coleby which could make up for the fact that the substance is strongly lacking and I still don't care because I can't even get through this review without taking a break for five minutes as soon as I go to another sentence. All I know is that I want Batwing to survive this, for Corrigan to wake up, and for the Joker's Daughter to die. Also, there's this weird moment with Batman where he 'deduced' (and I used the term very loosely) that everything that's been going on in Gotham (including the nano-bots which I think nobody would even remember until a character would randomly mention them, and Arkham) is somehow connected with Hush. What the fuck are you smoking, Batsy, and please stop. Even Julia was quick to point out that it was a weird-ass leap. For the world's greatest detective, Batsy sure is making Sherlock Holmes laugh derisively with that unsupported inference of his.

Anyway, there's also this subplot about the Riddler's coded message. Still not enough to make me care. And then the issue just abruptly ends and Julia goes "What is happening?" which sums up my own reaction even before the issue closes. I just wasted fifteen minutes of my life reading this, and all the confusion and of cohesive storytelling felt like I read it even longer than I'm supposed to. But there's a silver lining! The next issue, which is the continuation, was actually an excellent follow-up (with a few meager flaws). Let's get to that. I have nothing more to say about this one anyway.

SORT OF RECOMMENDED: 5/10