Monday, October 27, 2014

Batman Eternal by Snyder and Tynion issue #21

FUCK. In the name of all that is holy and Loki, WHAT THE FUCK? Just...why? Seriously, WHY? I don't understand...why, why, WHY the fuck would you do this to ME, Batman Eternal? This is...unreal. Just fucking unreal, man. I'm not ready to accept that truth. It's NOT TRUE! It doesn't make sense. Has it been the plan all along, writers? ANSWER ME, Snyder and Tynion and the rest of the staff! But why would you make me care so much? And I CARED A LOT. I may even have fallen in love a little bit...AND THEN YOU BROKE MY HEART. WHY?

If that was the goal all along then congratulations. Color me enraged and disappointed and depressed. Ironically enough and despite my utter dismay and despair expressed above, this has to be one of the phenomenal issues of the series so far, tonality and presentation-wise, and it's almost in the same league as issues 12-14. Jason Fabok returns to illustrate this issue and it couldn't have been more perfect to have his pulpy illustrations occupy the pages. This story is just the set-up for the upcoming painful punchline for the next issue, sure, but it did a wonderfully sadistic job of revealing who are the true villains of this sick, twisted game whose ultimate goal is something NO ONE can fanthom as of yet. Falcone turns out to be just another pawn after all. Issue #10 (which was a fucking horrible mess) gave us a tasty piece of foreshadowing which I completely forgot until now.

AND NOW IT'S HERE. And I want to wish it all away..

I'm sorry but I think I've had enough of Batman Eternal for this week. I've been reading four issues a night and posting reviews of them the very next day. Now here I am at the 21st issue, and I think I need to take a well-deserved break from this series and continue with Tony S. Daniel's volume 2 of Detective Comics and anyone who follows my reviews knows HOW MUCH I HATE THAT PARTICULAR BAT-TITLE and yet I'm choosing to read that tomorrow instead. I'm not rage-quitting Eternal, okay? I still want to find out more about this shift in the story ESPECIALLY NOW AND AFTER ALL THE HEARTBREAK AND BETRAYAL THAT THIS SPECIFIC ISSUE REVEALED, FUCK! But it's just too much for me. I need to balance out the stress this series has put me through. Now Daniel's Detective Comics is not exactly a title that would appease me either, I'm well aware of that, which is why I'm also going to be reading more of the classical novel Jane Eyre alongside it (which I have started reading way before I picked up Eternal in the first place). I just...NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS. I'm also avoiding the next issues for Grant Morrison's Batman and Robin because Tomasi has yet to give me back my Damian Wayne in New 52 continuity so...I HAVE SO MUCH AVOIDANCE ISSUES RIGHT NOW I CANNOT COPE.

Look, just...take my word for it. This series is getting better even if there are complete duds in between the great issues. But I need to cleanse my Bat-palette now, and I can't think of any other issue to temporarily end with than this one. I'm now going to reveal the earth-shattering moment in this issue that almost made me feel like I was going to have a panic attack, Just move your cursor on the vacant space that follows this sentence while holding down the right button of your mouse to highlight the hidden spoiler: (JASON BARD IS A TURN COAT! We saw how Jim Gordon and Batman eventually learned to trust him. His actions have been nothing but heroic so far. Jason Bard was the only one who stood up against the corruption in GCPD. He had even saved Gotham from a gang war with the help of Vicki Vale. He was characterized as a younger and more resilient version of Jimmy and the best candidate to take his mantle as the brand new commissioner. Everything about him paralleled Jim Gordon and it was moving and splendid to watch this character evolve and become a new friend and ally to Batman. Jason Bard was beguiling, fiercely loyal and morally upright--AND IT WAS ALL FOR SHOW! He was actually working with whoever was behind the scenes, pulling the strings all along! All that character development for nothing! All the emotional investment I allotted for him obliterated with that single revelation THAT NONE OF US SAW COMING). Anyway, I made up my mind. My next post in this blog will be for the episode six review of GOTHAM. I might post something for Snyder's Batman (issues #34 and/or #35) but don't count on it. I'm a very fragile place. Please don't judge. Allow me to recuperate. I'll come back stronger next time.


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